Saturday, August 12, 2006

The Plan

Well, Paul and I have done a lot of talking in the last few days and we have finally decided what our next plan of attack will be.

We have 8 frosties left. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't do anything with them. I can't bring myself to destroy them, and I really don't want them sitting there for years and years. So, we will do 4 more FET's (transferring 2 frosties each time). We figure that will take us to November/December. We have been debating whether or not to do another fresh cycle and after our many talks this week we have decided that we will not be seeking anymore treatments.

We struggled with this but we both realize, we want a baby love and raise. That is our goal. We are ready to be a mom and dad now. Adopting a baby from China will guarantee us a baby in our arms within a year or year and half. With treatment, we don't have that guarantee. When we first started fertility treatments a year ago, based on what our RE said, I was seeing myself with a baby already or at least pregnant. Our RE told us we have a 65% chance of getting pregnant on our IVF/ICSI #1. He never once talked about hyper stimulation (well he said, he wouldn't go over that because it only happens in 2% of women...lucky me, I got it!), cancelled cycles, reduced success rates with FET's. This past year of treatments have been emotionally, physically, and financially draining for us. I don't know how much more we can take of that.

As I mentioned in my last post, we have been really talking about the international adoption route and we have come to the decision to adopt a baby China. After researching adoptions from China and reading blogs and websites of couples who journeyed to China to bring their baby home, we knew this was what we wanted to do. It was quite the sight the other day; we were both sitting in front of the computer, with tears streaming down our faces, watching home videos of couples getting their baby for the first time. Before watching those videos, we wondered if we would be able to love and bond with a baby that wasn't biologically ours. Watching those videos confirmed for us, without a single doubt in our minds, we would be able to love that baby. Just like I would bond with a baby in my uterus for nine months, I am going to be bonding with our baby that is halfway around the world for 12 - 18 months before we meet it. We will bond with our baby each time we send off another piece of paperwork to the agency, we will bond when we find out our dossier has been received by the agency in China. We will bond when we get the referral, we will bond when we see the first pictures of our baby and read about her. We will bond when we are setting up the baby's room. We will bond each time we buy a piece of clothing or toy for her. The moment when they place our baby in our arms for the first time, will be like a mom seeing and holding her biological child for the first time.

People have asked us what we would do if we get pregnant from one of our FET cycles. Well, if we are lucky to have one of our frosties implant and stick around for 9 months we will be overjoyed and be truly blessed. Our little China Baby will have a sibling! We know we want 2 children; it will just be a bit sooner than planned!

I can't tell you how excited we both are about this whole process. After making the decision it felt as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. All the worrying and fretting about when and if treatment is going to work has been erased. I know, with 100% assurance, I'm going to be a mom and Paul is going to be a dad.


At 4:46 PM, August 12, 2006, Blogger Bea said...

We all draw the line at different places. You've drawn yours. The only thing you have to worry about is being happy with your decision - and it sounds like you both are.

One day I'll come here and see baby's picture. That's pretty special.


At 4:45 AM, August 13, 2006, Blogger Vee said...

It sounds like a great plan and you will be guaranteed a baby in your arms...or two...or three :-)

You are lucky you can pursue adoption whilst still doing AC, it is not allowed in Australia, you have to of finished all your treatment before looking into adoption.
Otherwise I would have a similar plan to you.
All the best !

At 3:09 PM, August 13, 2006, Blogger Courtney said...

Congrats on your decision to adopt! We are in a similar situation but obviously also different. We are pursuing a FET this cycle and then if that does not work one more fresh IVF/FET round before moving on to China. My hubby's brother and sister in law are just months away from getting their Thai baby through adoption.

I hope to find it all works out for you .. both ways!


At 5:48 AM, August 14, 2006, Blogger Shazz said...

I think we wont be far off a plan either, unfortunatly we cant keep pulling money out of our butts and when does quality of life start. But I know when it does come time I will go kicking and screaming. Lets hope you wont need the fresh!!

At 12:13 PM, August 14, 2006, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

It sounds like starting the adoption process has really given you piece of mind. I hope that everything works and you end up with both - a frostie and adopted baby.

At 10:58 AM, August 16, 2006, Blogger The Town Criers said...

That is so great! I'm so happy for you that you've found your path.

At 12:37 PM, August 17, 2006, Blogger serenity said...

Lisa - I think that is a GREAT plan. My husband and I are thinking about doing the same - should our up-coming FETs fail, we will adopt internationally as well, probably from Russia. But for the same reason, I need to use up all of our frosties before I will feel comfortable about stopping treatment.

I am hoping that both a FET AND adoption will work out for you. The best of both worlds, huh? :)


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