Sunday, January 29, 2006

Back on Birth Control

Who would have thought that after being birth control free for 2 years that I'd be back on the pill! I started the pill yesterday and will be on it until Feb 12th. The pill is going to put my ovaries and uterine lining asleep. Then, the dreaded needles will begin on Feb. 9th. On that day I will begin injecting myself with Suprefact. This is a drug that will stop my brain from communicating with my ovaries. It suppresses the pituitary gland, which prevents it from releasing FSH (follicle stimulating hormones that stimulates egg development) and LH (luteinizing hormone which stimulates ovaries to mature eggs). This means that the fertility clinic will have complete control of my ovaries and uterus without any interference from my brain! Yikes!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Liz

I stumbled across this site http://whennatureisnotenoughivf4me.blogspot.com/ She is going through cycle #3. She just had the retrival yesterday.

Here's a copy of her 'about me.'

Liz

Location: New York

I'm 36 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic in Dec. 04 and in April found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only option. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. and it was a BFN. I will not give up my dream of having a baby. Currently doing IVF # 3...hoping for a miracle.


And check out the blogs she links to on the right hand side.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Interesting slide show

http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod2.html

We're Off!

Had my FSH Day 3 blood test done today and will start the BCP on Saturday. This marks the beginning of our IVF journey. It was quite a morning!

To start things off, we had snow squalls this morning so the hour long drive was a little slow. I ran into some drifting and blowing snow, and some icy spots. Made it to the clinic in one piece. The nurse at the clinic had a hell of a time trying to find a vein (this is typical for me; it's nothing for me to have major bruises the next day).

I figured I needed to be out of the clinic and on the road by 8am if I was to make it to work on time (I'm a teacher so I can't be a few minutes late). Left the clinic right at 8am and at about 8:15am I get pulled over by a cop for speeding (my first ticket ever in my 16 years as a driver)! So, $50 and 10 minutes later I am back on the road (really watching my speed now). On the way back, there is 1 set of train tracks along the way. These tracks are rarely used anymore. However, today was the day they decided to use them! Guess what, I'm stopped for another 5 minutes waiting for the train to pass! So then, I'm driving along and then get stuck behind a row of cars following a snow plow doing about 50km/h in an 80km/h zone. At this point, I can feel my blood pressure rising!

Anyway, I did make it to work with about 5 minutes to spare before my students came piling in! I think they found their teacher just a tad bit bitchy today! Ah, those poor kids - hopefully it will not get any worse when I start the drugs!

Nano to help the drive

As a celebration of our starting the IVF I bought my wife an Nano iPOD. On days she goes for blood work she's going to drive close to 2 hours. She can now download AudioBooks onto her Nano and use them to pass the long drives away.

She made her first trip today. We had snow squall warnings, and fortunately we've got a 4WD vehicle plus snow tires. This makes all the difference in the world.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

First blood

Blood is being drawn tomorrow from DW. She has to be over there early in the morning since she is a teacher and her school is over 50 mins away from the clinic. She cannot be late for school. With her school she is either there or she calls in a supply for the first bell.

She’s getting her FSH (Follicle stimulating hormone) levels tested. If my memory serves me well if her levels are too high we are in trouble. It would indicate something wrong with the eggs and that she was close to menopause.

This should be a routine test with predictable results. We are not worried about this one.

Step 1

and 4,999 more to go.

We are officially out of the waiting period and have moved into the phase of action. The last two months we've pretty much been waiting. Lisa will get her first blood test on Thursday.

By my calculations we should do the retrieval and implantation mid to late-March. We will find out if we were successful 2 weeks later... around Easter. Which is the time of our 1st date 5 years ago.

Wouldn't that be amazing to get the news around Easter? I'm not a religious person at heart, its not that I don't believe in God, I just don't believe in most of the things Church has to say. It seems things are not open to debate and for the most part are to be taken literal. A pretty broad brush, eh?

Regardless, Easter coincides with spring. And if I searched/explored it out I bet I could tie it into some Pagan holiday (kind of like Christmas). But regardless of the origins of Easter, it does symbolize re-birth. And hopefully we'll be basking in the knowledge of our new impending life.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Good news amongst all the bad

We’ve been a washed with lots of bad news over the past two years. We’re kind of use to it.

I went for a DNA fragmentation test in October. We got the results back before Christmas. Good news… 7%; less than 15% means excellent (you want to see lower numbers when it comes to the DNA fragmentation test).

Over 30% is considered poor fertility potential.

All these feelings

In less than 2 weeks, I will officially start the IVF and ICSI process. I have been looking forward to this stage for about 6 months now. However, now that it is fast approaching, all these different emotions and feelings are going through me.

1. Excitement - DH and I have waited so long to get pregnant that I can't believe that we could be pregnant in the next couple of months.

2. Anxiety - I must admit, I hate needles. I am really anxious about all of the injections that I will have to take. I know that once I get through the first few, I will wonder what I was so anxious about. But until then, I am really nervous about giving myself the correct amount of medication, getting the needles done at the proper times and in the proper spots, and having little emotional breakdowns when it comes time to inject myself!

3. Fear - This is a big one. I am so worried that something awful will happen. Throughout our journey to conceive, we have received bad news after bad news (BFN pregnancy tests, varicoceles, low sperm count, surgery, sperm count still decreasing, visits to the OB/GYN who told us our chances of taking home a baby with the help of technology were about 30%). Now, after talking with our fertility doctor and finding out that because our fertility problems are due to low sperm count, our chances of getting pregnant through ICSI are about 60% really excited us. But now, I'm worried that if I do get pregnant, will I be able to carry it to term. I am also worried how my body will respond to the drugs. Will I produce enough eggs? Will enough of the eggs be fertilized? Will enough embryos make to the transfer stage? Will the embryos implant and stick? The list could go on and on.

After saying all of this, I realize that I would probably not be human if I wasn't feeling this way. My DH has been a great support and I know he will continue to be my rock when I am going through this whole process. He has made me realize that it's normal to have these feelings but I can't let the fears take over. I think a big part of being successful in this process is our attitude.

We see this opportunity as a gift that we have been given. We are thankful that the technology is there to allow us to conceive (because without it, we would have had less than a 2% chance of becoming pregnant naturally). We are thankful that we have the financial means to get the help. And in a strange way, I think we are a little thankful that we were dealt the "infertile" card.

I see these last 19 months kind of like us climbing a mountain. The ups and downs we encountered on our way up the mountain made us realize how much we wanted to bring a baby into our life. We took all of the challenges that we faced and tackled them together. Each challenge made our drive to become parents even stronger. Each challenge pulled my DH and I closer together. When we finally get to see and hold our baby for the very first, we will know the struggles, the bad news, and emotional breakdowns (mostly on my part) will be all worth it. That baby will be a miracle to us. That baby will know that his or her mommy and daddy wanted him or her more than anything else in the world and had to climb many mountains to bring him or her into our life. I can't wait for the three of us to finally be standing at the top of that mountain.

Friday, January 13, 2006

2 weeks to go

My wife and I arrived safely from Costa Rica. Amazing place to travel to. It is not a sit on the beach and sunbath place.

We are waiting for Aunt Flow. She is due in about 2 weeks. After that we will be starting our IVF and ICSI cycle.